Sex Theory February 28, 2007

A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex.
To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile. Using the size [...]

Big-game Hunter February 28, 2007

The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that he could recognize any animal’s skin by feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle was used [...]

Artificial Respiration February 28, 2007

While leading a party of Girl Scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, the troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in an indecent act.
“Back ladies, back!” cried the leader. “There’s a very dangerous beast out there!”
But it was too late. Several of the girls had more or [...]

Car Theft February 28, 2007

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before [...]

High Tech Milking Machine February 27, 2007

Lewis’s cousin, the farmer, ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him [...]

Midget Horse February 27, 2007

This guy who owns a horse farm gets a call from a friend.
The friend says, “I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, and I’m sending him over.”
The midget arrives, and the owner asks him if he wants a male or female horse.
“A female horth,” the midget replies. [...]

Health Organization February 27, 2007

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO (health maintenance organization) have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their lives.
The doctor says, “I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and [...]

No Swimming February 27, 2007

A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn’t see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her [...]

Indian Toilet Paper February 26, 2007

An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud.
“White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper,” says the Indian. “How much is it?”
“$1.00 a roll,” the clerk replies.
“That seems pretty expensive,” responds the Indian. “What about the [...]

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly February 26, 2007

Good: You’re pregnant. Bad: It’s triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce. Ugly: He’s a lawyer.
Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his [...]