Bubbles March 31, 2007

Two girls and a guy are trespassing in a farmers field, and the farmer catches them, and decides to take them to court. During the next month, they go to court, and the farmers lawyer asks the first girl.
“What were you doing during the time you was inside that field.”
The girl replies… “i was blowing [...]

Poets March 31, 2007

500 years ago in an ancient pub two of the worlds greatest poets sat, ROBERT BURNS and WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. they were to have a contest to find out which one is better at telling stories. They were to use the word TIMBUCTU in a sentence.
They drew straws to see who would go first. WILLIAM [...]

Computer Diagnosis March 31, 2007

One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”
His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your [...]

At the Gas Station… March 31, 2007

My husband and I were in the car heading home from a weekend trip out of town.
We needed gasoline, so I stopped at a gas station just off the highway and maneuvered up to a pump. On this particular pump there was a hand written sign placed there by management that read, [...]

Attacked by Cannibals March 30, 2007

Ehe Englishman, the French guy and the American are exploring Africa, when they’re attacked by cannibals. The cannibal chief says, ‘Well, we’re gonna eat your flesh and use your skin for canoes. Tough luck, eh? But you can choose the way you’re gonna die.’
The Englishman goes, ‘May I have a revolver?’
When he ges it, he [...]

Sisters of Mercy March 30, 2007

A man is driving down a deserted highway, and notices a sign that reads: SISTERS OF MERCYHOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 10 MILES.
He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on. Soon, he sees another sign which says… SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 5 MILES.
Realizing these signs are [...]

I Have to Whisper March 30, 2007

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.”
The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church.
So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper.’”
The [...]

Ten Things You’ll Never Hear From A Southern Boy March 30, 2007

1. Oh I just couldn’t, she’s only sixteen.
2. You can’t feed that to the dog.
3. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
4. Trim the fat off that steak.
5. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.
6. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
7. Duct tape won’t fix that. [...]

Dear Diary March 29, 2007

Aug. 12 – Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It’s so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.
Oct. 14 – Canada–it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. [...]

Not as easy as before March 29, 2007

One day an elderly man decided that since he had never fathered any children that he would make a deposit to the local sperm bank. At the sperm bank a young doctor gave the man a jar and told him to go into the bathroom and put his deposit in it.
After what seemed like [...]