A Bolt of Lightning April 30, 2007

One day a priest was playing baseball. A nun was cheerleading near first base.
The priest was up to bat. The pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said “Dammit!I missed!”
“Don’t you say that mister or God will strike you with a bolt of lightning,” the nun said.
Again the pitcher threw the ball. [...]

Indians’ Land April 30, 2007

When white man found this land, Indians were running it. There were: – No Taxes- No Debt- Plenty buffalo- Plenty beaver- Medicine man free- Women did all the work- Men hunted and fished all the time
The white man was dumb enough to think he could improve on that system!

A 15 April 30, 2007

A red head, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender asks the redhead what she would like. She says, “I’ll have a A.L.”
The bartender looks lost, and so the redhead says, “Daaaaa, an Amstel Lite!”
Next, the bartender asks the brunette what she would like. The brunette says, “I’ll have [...]

Forgive me Father April 30, 2007

A priest is giving confession but he drank a little too much communion wine before hand and had to piss really badly. So when the next guy was done with his confession the priest asked him,
“Would you mind sitting in for me while I piss?”
The man being a pleasant soul said sure no [...]

Mental Deficiency April 29, 2007

“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” Bob asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?”
“Well, you might ask [...]

Not that kind’a guy April 29, 2007

A cowboy walks into a Saloon after he rode 150 miles on his horse in one day. He had a drink about two weeks ago, but he had himself a lady about two months ago.
He enters the saloon sits down and orders a whiskey. He sees that he is the only one in the [...]

Rest assured April 29, 2007

A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, “Are we safe here? Aren’t there cannibals around here?”
And the tourist guide says, “Yes. You can be sure there are no cannibals in Africa.”
And the tourist says, “But there may be still some cannibals.”
And the tourist guide says, “No, rest [...]

Salesman April 29, 2007

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.
Rather than asking him about this, the Captain [...]

Mating cats April 28, 2007

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.
At about 2:00 in the morning, the [...]

Looking for my car April 28, 2007

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy.
“What the heck are you doing ?” he asks the drunk.
“I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.” he replies.
“So how [...]